like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
