good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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