i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
