Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
