I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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