At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
