weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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