wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
