I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
