Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
