and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
