is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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