Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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