WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
