i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
