cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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