i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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