Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
