Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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