Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am available for nakedness
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
