I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
