the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
