Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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