I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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