sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
