he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
