i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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