So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
