So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
