He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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