last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
