She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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