butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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