Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
