She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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