I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
