I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
