My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
