im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
