party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
