Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
