Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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