Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize