oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Watching her eat just hurts me
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
