I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Drake has all the answers
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
