It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
