Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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