Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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