Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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