She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
