I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
