Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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