But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
