OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i barfeds in our rink
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
