a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize