Tell her she can't have a vagina
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
