Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
