I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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