last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
