Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
