therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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