Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
