What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
