Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
